Saturday, August 16, 2008

Saturday Morning...

I feel that if my hang over's where a sensation that I could impart to others I would be the thing of legends. Today is one of those days I would make you make me a legend. My insides are reeling. My brain feels dehydrated and rusty and yet I am up doing laundry and taking care of dishes. I am out of BC Powder and can't find my ibuprofen (probably stolen by one of the swine I call either friend of roommate). So, i make do with what I have. I chase a multi-vitamin with a limeade/metamucil concoction and chase all of that with water. Water. Water is the sure fire hangover cure. I hear old wives tails and the urban legends of college students about how to cure a hangover. A hangover is essentially being dehydrated so you must fix this first. Rest in a cool dark place and plenty of water (and codeine if it is to be had) are the way to fix hangovers.

I start work monday. It has been a heinous endeavor thus far. Friday I had to do all of the prefatory work. I am not talking about your I-9 or picking out what size of shirt you need. I was violated for the sake of being paid. I got a drug test, a tb skin test (which involves a needle if you don't know), and a long wait in a small cold room in my boxers and converse with nothing to read but redbook that terminated in be being told to drop said shorts, turn my head, and cough. You can guess what the doc was doing at that time. I would CYA measure by my employer to make sure I would not cost them big bucks in the long run for having cancer or by turning out to be some drug addled fiend that eats children, corn on the cob, and finishes it off with a hit of hash and a long cool pull from a glass of the blood of infants. So, my future employer, now that you have violated me you should know I am fit for work! Not to the glue factory with me just yet!

Redbook (and yes this is the issue I read) is no consolation for being groped (and not in the good way)

And now a shower while listening to Glen Gould's Bach's Goldberg Variations. Might clear my muddled head.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

the picture in my head of this scene should be the stuff of legend