What is it to lead a life without purpose? What if that purpose was less than honorable or even useless? I have always wanted to be part of something larger than myself but not just anything. Something of import. Not because I am that important but I have this urge to do something great with myself. As I become older I begin to doubt whether this end is possible. Where do you get on board? Should I have started a long time ago or can I still begin the process anew tomorrow when this god-forsaken hangover finally dissipates? These are the kind of reflections I am driven to these days, driven to the point of distraction. Staring at the ceiling worrying about the future. The future has never bothered me before. But now it has come out of the fog and veil of temporality and stands there fucking taunting me.
I should drink less and sleep more. I think that might have to be the start.