“A lot of people leave Arkansas and most of them come back sooner or later. They can’t quite achieve escape velocity”
- The Dog of the South
- The Dog of the South
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
At the end of the day...
...mental health facilities break down into two categories. Those which are locked from the inside and those that are not. There are many different types but this is one of those dichotomies that pretty much gets it. Those facilities that are not locked from the inside cover a myriad of services and practices while those which are define a pretty specialized sort of facility.
For this week I am working at one of those facilities: a residential facility for children. Their maladies cover the entire spectrum of disorders and symptoms. To find oneself coated in the smell of industrial cleaner seems to add clarity and paradoxically obfuscation to the matter. What do we do with the mentally ill? This is a question that has plagued society since before we had a name for the term (besides being possessed). This remains an important question for society at large and the answer seems to be the same as many other inconveniences: containment. Unfortunately the kritik of this method is the same as that of many kritiks of other solutions for social problems. One simply creates or reinforces those behaviors which you seek to get rid of. The more I work in this field the more I convinced of its shortfalls. I hope something can be done. Write your congressman. Write anyone.
It is not a pleasant place to work.
For this week I am working at one of those facilities: a residential facility for children. Their maladies cover the entire spectrum of disorders and symptoms. To find oneself coated in the smell of industrial cleaner seems to add clarity and paradoxically obfuscation to the matter. What do we do with the mentally ill? This is a question that has plagued society since before we had a name for the term (besides being possessed). This remains an important question for society at large and the answer seems to be the same as many other inconveniences: containment. Unfortunately the kritik of this method is the same as that of many kritiks of other solutions for social problems. One simply creates or reinforces those behaviors which you seek to get rid of. The more I work in this field the more I convinced of its shortfalls. I hope something can be done. Write your congressman. Write anyone.
It is not a pleasant place to work.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Damn I suck at this...
So yeah, too long for my loyal cadre of readers to go without an update from me...
It is always good to be reminded of beautiful things. I have spent the last two springs in the City and while this brings its own surprises and delights it cannot compare to those of my home. Cool evenings, warmth that radiates through you, and the birds. There are many ways people use to determine if spring has truly "arrived." Most people point to different plants and when they flower. This is not useful because plants are stupid and have little to add to the conversation. The birds however, they do. I knew it was spring a little over a week ago when I was returning from the midnight showing of The Watchmen and I got home at almost 3am and the birds were all over the place. The tweets and the chirps filling the cool air, mingling with that smell of fresh dirt. Damn I forgot how amazing it is. So I decided to take a few days off of work and here I sit, windows open, shirt off (keep your lunch down folks), drinking a PBR and enjoying the songs of the birds.
So what else is up you ask yourselves because you are finished Youtubing the the Jim Cramer vs John Stewart battle and you are now bored and waiting to get off of work...
I have been transferred again at work and I am now back at the Deaf School. This is sad and great because on the one hand I miss my kids from the Alternative school but on the other hand their appears to be a 4 day work week, a raise and free lunch in my future. I am not sure if I actually accomplished anything with my kids at the Alternative School. The problem with that situation was 2 fold: first cultural has an enormous influence on how we perceive ourselves and others. As such the lessons and help I tried to offer ran contrary to that of my kids cultural norms. Things are to be ajudicated with violence and respect comes from different and maladaptive sources. So what me and the therapist I was working with were doing was being undone outside of the school. The cultural milieu cannot be underestimated... The other problem is related to the first, if everything about your life reinforces your behaviour as normal then you do not see or understand that what you do is not typical or socially "acceptable." Thus you do not think there is anything wrong to fix. I worked hard with these kids and I am little depressed that now, after 4 1/2 months I cannot tell if I actually accomplished anything. I worry, and mostly believe that I have not. And to say that I tried does not seem to make me feel much better about it.
It is always good to be reminded of beautiful things. I have spent the last two springs in the City and while this brings its own surprises and delights it cannot compare to those of my home. Cool evenings, warmth that radiates through you, and the birds. There are many ways people use to determine if spring has truly "arrived." Most people point to different plants and when they flower. This is not useful because plants are stupid and have little to add to the conversation. The birds however, they do. I knew it was spring a little over a week ago when I was returning from the midnight showing of The Watchmen and I got home at almost 3am and the birds were all over the place. The tweets and the chirps filling the cool air, mingling with that smell of fresh dirt. Damn I forgot how amazing it is. So I decided to take a few days off of work and here I sit, windows open, shirt off (keep your lunch down folks), drinking a PBR and enjoying the songs of the birds.
So what else is up you ask yourselves because you are finished Youtubing the the Jim Cramer vs John Stewart battle and you are now bored and waiting to get off of work...
I have been transferred again at work and I am now back at the Deaf School. This is sad and great because on the one hand I miss my kids from the Alternative school but on the other hand their appears to be a 4 day work week, a raise and free lunch in my future. I am not sure if I actually accomplished anything with my kids at the Alternative School. The problem with that situation was 2 fold: first cultural has an enormous influence on how we perceive ourselves and others. As such the lessons and help I tried to offer ran contrary to that of my kids cultural norms. Things are to be ajudicated with violence and respect comes from different and maladaptive sources. So what me and the therapist I was working with were doing was being undone outside of the school. The cultural milieu cannot be underestimated... The other problem is related to the first, if everything about your life reinforces your behaviour as normal then you do not see or understand that what you do is not typical or socially "acceptable." Thus you do not think there is anything wrong to fix. I worked hard with these kids and I am little depressed that now, after 4 1/2 months I cannot tell if I actually accomplished anything. I worry, and mostly believe that I have not. And to say that I tried does not seem to make me feel much better about it.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
That which defines a generation...
So thanks to my Tivo and MTV showing other than real people without shame I have been able to revisit that time when Beavis & Butthead were a part of my cultural fabric. It would seem now that the national debate has been pulled to a more erudite level but I doubt that to my core. It seems more that while culture has become more self-referential it has ceased to be more self-critical. Only an idiot would not realized that B&B is making fun of itself while much "reality tv" does not have any such space. Its a shame. And I wish we got you use the word "nads" more often.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Getting Older..
I am aware that many of you who read this blog are older than me so I pray you indulge me for these musings. All of us are a product of our different experiences and as such any musing on age would have to be different from the musings of an other...
Well, I have reached the 25 year mark. This age has only recently come to resound in my ears and send shivers over me. It seems to be an age which connotes, no demands, a watershed moment. I would not go so far as to say it is that point where the wave breaks and begins to roll back into the see but it is moment that demands you to scan the horizon and try and take in the vista before you with all of its shadows. It seems to demand a cutting away, a cuttin' loose as we might say here in the durty south. Or an emandation as I like to say. I have begun a systematic plan of how to go about getting ready for the rest of my life. I would like to think that I have my youth but years of abuse and ideas about the future simply demand that I begin to no longer think about my time as infinite or that my body can sustain its current level of abuse (or sponging as you might call it). I do not think of this as a depressing thing but more of a liberating sensation. Because every avenue we decide to close makes the others more deliberate and clear. I know this all sounds kind of dramatic but it is. I am not one who things about age in terms of wrinkles or bad backs but simply in terms of how much time do I have left to do the work I have set for myself and more over what work is there which I hope to set before myself. Of course, the Heideggerian point of the ever-presence of death looms always but it is now an even more serious point of consideration when I consider that I am on prescriptions for seemingly everything at this point and that I drive like a depraved loony. The end may not be nigh but it is not taking a nap. So what does this all mean practically? What "work" do these considerations due? I am not totally sure but I cleaned up my desk today and burned a bunch of old notes and papers so I deem this to be a good start.
Well, I have reached the 25 year mark. This age has only recently come to resound in my ears and send shivers over me. It seems to be an age which connotes, no demands, a watershed moment. I would not go so far as to say it is that point where the wave breaks and begins to roll back into the see but it is moment that demands you to scan the horizon and try and take in the vista before you with all of its shadows. It seems to demand a cutting away, a cuttin' loose as we might say here in the durty south. Or an emandation as I like to say. I have begun a systematic plan of how to go about getting ready for the rest of my life. I would like to think that I have my youth but years of abuse and ideas about the future simply demand that I begin to no longer think about my time as infinite or that my body can sustain its current level of abuse (or sponging as you might call it). I do not think of this as a depressing thing but more of a liberating sensation. Because every avenue we decide to close makes the others more deliberate and clear. I know this all sounds kind of dramatic but it is. I am not one who things about age in terms of wrinkles or bad backs but simply in terms of how much time do I have left to do the work I have set for myself and more over what work is there which I hope to set before myself. Of course, the Heideggerian point of the ever-presence of death looms always but it is now an even more serious point of consideration when I consider that I am on prescriptions for seemingly everything at this point and that I drive like a depraved loony. The end may not be nigh but it is not taking a nap. So what does this all mean practically? What "work" do these considerations due? I am not totally sure but I cleaned up my desk today and burned a bunch of old notes and papers so I deem this to be a good start.
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