What the fuck IS a market anyway?!

Ok, so the word "market" (as an economics term) is one that is frequently used in such a way that drives my blood pressure through the roof.
This morning I was listening to the Diane Rehm show (that warbling fox) and she had a panel discussing Obama and McCain's energy strategies. They were discussing government incentives to push the auto industry towards hybrid technology. This got one guy (I am guessing he was the Cato Institute guy) all up in a tizzy. "How do we know that hybrid technology is the best way to power our vehicles? Why should government dictate the market? The government doesn't know what is best for the market!" All of this said very aggressively. Then the phrase "Central Planning" was dropped as if tax incentives and cafe standards where the same thing as Soviet style farming in the Ukraine. Fuck ALL!!!
My question is this: Who the fuck does the market think he or she is? And more over what the fuck is the market. Stalwart right wingers talk about the market like it is some wise thing that hangs out on the penis tip of Manhattan and makes important decisions. Like it is a sentient being! Where does it live? Can I just call the market up on the phone? Can I send it mail or a christmas letter, "Dear Market. Well another great year at the Smith house is coming to a close. Little bobby discovered buggery" And so on and so forth....
"The Market." As far as I know it is a name for a bunch of things all bundled into one phrase. I know that the market does not solve. I know that regulation of the market protects people. Allowing the market to do as it pleased does not work for the best interests of all. Look at the sub-prime disaster. The government created a mood on Wall Street of "you guys do whatever you want no worries!" See where that got us. History provides numerous examples.
But what do I know? I will never own a home now.